"Don't end up like Ted. Ted's just waiting to die"

Jesse said that to me in reference to our roommate Ted. Ted is older than all of us, easily in his 60's, with a pursed, rat-like face that frowns beneath a beret. Conversation with Ted is stilted; I think the age difference is more difficult to negotiate for him. His conversation alternates between how much pussy he used to get as a young hot shit jazz guitarist in the U-District and mild admonishments for leaving the doors unlocked. He seems most comfortable when talking about the old days, which as one might imagine in this house is far from an uncommon topic.

I do respect Ted. He's led a hard life. Jesse's comment made me see how much I recognized Ted's behavior and how much it mirrors my own over the summer. I was fixin' to die...whether out of sheer boredom or post-grad anomie. So many deaths last year; my own seemed just around the corner. As awesome as last summer was in a lot of ways with Jordyan and Amber moving into Fuck City and such a intense feeling of community, I did not expect to see the end of summer. How melodramatic and corny. Watching Ted now makes me feel very silly and helpless. REAL despair is an impossible force. How can I help you, Ted?

Finished but have yet to return 'oblivion' by wallace. have been carrying it around in my bag for the last few days, telling myself i'll return it first chance I get. Sort of like the letter I wrote Fuck City which now sits on my table, a month old and irrelevant. lent an Americorps friend 'baron in the trees'. She took my plea to keep the book nice a little too seriously and is keeping it in a plastic bag. appreciated but unnecessary.